10 Things I Love About My Marriage

So, I thought on the eve of my twelfth wedding anniversary, I would share what I love about my marriage.  (totally stole the idea from Beth!)

10. Our interests are rarely shared, but our values always are.
9. Commitment is a powerful, comforting thing.  There is just something about knowing the other person will stick around to work this thing out.
8.  I can always be proud of the work he does.  He is very good at his job.  He does each aspect with integrity and excellence.
7. I have learned so much about my relationship with God through the relationship of marriage, and he cares as much about my spiritual growth as I do.
6. No one knows me better than he does.
5. My kids love my man, and no one else loves them like I do but him.
4. No one makes me laugh harder than my husband...no one.
3. None of your business.
2. My marriage is a miracle.  God still works them.  I know for a fact.
1. My favorite thing about my marriage is knowing God picked Troy Marc Borst for me and He does all things well.

Happy Anniversary T!

Heart Family

So, Michelle and Josh just came for a visit with their baby boy, and it was wonderful.  We have such a rich history woven by God with those kids.  Here's the story...

Troy's first full time ministry was at the First Church of Christ of Lock Haven, Pennsylvania.  We moved there when Abigail was not yet 2 and Nathanael was 5 months old.  Not long after we moved there, Troy had the privilege of baptizing Michelle, her sister and her dad.  It was a wonderful day for her family.
Troy was the only minister on staff so he did it all.  Preaching, counseling, teaching, and youth ministry.  We invested a lot of our time, energy and heart into the teens....mostly because they were the most receptive to teaching about living holy lives.  One of the first things we really got to do with them was go to PCTC (PA Christian Teen Convention).  At that time, there was an obvious divide in the group caused; there were 4 older kids and a bunch of younger ones.  A lot of the teaching at the convention was about purity in dating...not dating non-Christians and purity of actions within dating relationships.  During our group time, the discussion naturally turned toward that subject.  All four of our older kids (Tyler, Blake, Laura and Michelle) were in a dating relationship.  Blake's girlfriend professed Christ as her Savior...but she was the only one.  Our discussion was emotional, at times uncomfortable (we had only known these kids for 4 months) and honest.  We really challenged them with the truth of God's Word.  We told them that God's Word is clear on the subject so the choice is more about how willing each of them is to follow God.  After our talk, the kids holed up in the hotel bathroom.  They cried and talked...they were a tight group.  Laura broke up with her boyfriend that weekend.
It was that weekend that we first learned about Josh, and that he had been dating Michelle for 3 or 4 years at this point.  Josh did not attend our church or any other.  He was not a Christian.  Obviously, Michelle was upset by our discussion...so was her mom (a youth sponsor).  She wanted to be who God desired for her to be, but she loved Josh.  Her compromise...she brought Josh to church...every time she came...which was every time there was something going on; she brought him to Bible study at our house and youth group.  Michelle and Josh were also fixtures in our home.  My kids have always known Josh and Michelle.  They love them like family.  About 9 months after PCTC, Troy had the privilege of talking with Josh and baptizing him.  The following summer Josh was called to ministry at CIY.  To his family this was a radical, unfamiliar and unwise choice.  Josh applied to Johnson.  Troy took him to visit the school.  Josh and Michelle both ended up going to Johnson.  When Josh came home, Troy would let him preach and teach him with each experience.  By the time they left for Johnson, Michelle and Josh were engaged.  The next summer Troy married them with all three of my kids in the ceremony.  The summer after that Troy and Josh made official a relationship they have always had when Josh came to be the first New Beginnings intern.
There were a lot of things wrong with that first ministry...the relationship we formed with Josh and Michelle was something very right.

Ian:  "Mom, are Michelle and Josh part of our family?"
My no-but-yes answer confused him.
Ian: "Well, they feel like my family, and I love them."
Later he told his dad they were his "heart family."

Relationships created by God are our heart family!

When Harry Met Sally

Can men and women be friends...just friends?  I have been thinking about this a lot lately because it has come up. Last night, I sat in Bible study and listened to Beth give the characteristics of a close friendship; I had very few relationships that fit but one of them was with a guy. Troy quickly and emphatically always answers the question no.  He says a girl can be just friends with a guy but a guy cannot be just friends with a girl.  I can think of 3 times in 3 completely different contexts that he has said that this week.  Like I said, it has come up.  I have issues with that...big ones for a couple of reasons.
First, I have always found it easier to be friends with guys.  Guys use and need less words than women which suits my personality.  I hate small talk.  I am not good at it, and I find little use for it.  I am also naturally very shy.  I don't feel a need to fill quiet space with words.  I can sit with a person, say nothing and be satisfied.  I am very much like my dad in that way.  I will dig deep with you easily and quickly...which is why I love Bible study so much...but day to day little stuff...eh.  Guys are ok with that.  Women want to talk about everything, anything and nothing.  Also, I have very little tolerance for drama in my own life.  (I will listen to yours, but I don't need any of my own.)  I know not many women will say they want drama but, man, a group of women always end up with it.  Y'all know the games women play...they way they manipulate and all that.  I can't deal.  Men just don't tend toward drama the way women do.  There is also the side note that for at least four months out of the year the topic I will most want to talk about is college football.  So, I find it easier to really be myself with guys.
Second, I am very secure in my marriage.  I love my man.  There is no wavering in that.  I am not swayed by anyone else.  I can appreciate a good looking man and even can be flattered if a man is paying attention to me, but it would never cross my mind to cheat on my husband.  We have fought too hard for our marriage to think of it that cheaply.  I know affairs can creep up out of nowhere and happen on a slippery slope, but nothing about who I am wants that emotionally or physically.  My heart is taken.  I don't have it to give away to anyone.
But you know what, I may just be proving Troy's answer to be right.  I have never been a man.  He has.  He knows what a guy feels and thinks...how they act and react.  I explained how I feel from a woman's point of view.  It's possible...but that's what Troy said.  It's the guy that can't do it.
What do you all think?  Can men and women be just friends?  How about 2 happily married people?  Can they be friends with someone else?

Hair: A Color Story - now featuring the tresses of me.

Where to begin...
A few weeks ago, Troy helped me color my hair.  For those of you that don't know, he has been doing it for years.  He is really good at highlights...normally.  Well, this time he did an awful job.  It was all globby and the highlights didn't go all the way down my hair.  Even Troy finally said "you have to do something about your hair."  So, I used one of my normal boxes (a dark brown, all over color)...it didn't work.  The highlights bled through...so they still looked just as bad but in a different color.  UGH.  Then Natalie came over with fabulous red hair, and I thought that's what I'll do.  Well, I bought 3 boxes of dark red/burgundy/auburn dye.  After church last night, Michelle came over, and we finally picked the same color that Natalie used.  It said on the box that it was intense light auburn for naturally dark hair.  I have naturally dark hair...it just hasn't been naturally dark for years.  Anyway, I put the color on my hair, and I set the timer.  Then I sat down with Michelle, and we started talking.  After awhile, I went to check how much time I had left...and it turns out I didn't START the timer!  So, Michelle and I were trying to figure out how long it had been...had enough time past?  I would have been smart to say I should probably wash it out.  But instead, I gave it 10 more minutes.  I finally got in the shower and was in there for at least 30 minutes.  THE WATER NEVER RAN CLEAR.  Seriously, even in the shower this morning, it never ran clear.  My scalp was a special color of fuchsia last night.  It is a little better today.  I have named my hair Goth: The Red Edition.  I kind of like it, though, maybe...I think my inner rebel is pleased.  Who knows if I will keep it, but I have dyed my hair 3 times in as many weeks...I think the hair needs a break.


Ian (as we went outside):  Mom, did you dye your hair red?
Me:  yes
Ian:  It doesn't look good on you.
Me:  Thanks, hon.

A little later (inside):
Ian:  Mom, I like your hair.
Me:  You said it didn't look good.
Ian:  Well, outside, it looked red.  Inside, it looks black and red, and that's cool.

UGH.  Let the Georgia jokes begin, Jason.

Product Reviews and Tips!!!!

K - First, I must say there has been a tragedy with my beauty products.  My body frosting was thrown away.  I know...it's awful.  I am in mourning.  Saving up for a replacement, but I am going to look less...glowy for a few weeks.  My back-up plan is Precious Gold by Bare Escentuals.

I don't love it like I love the body frosting, but it will do.  There are some obvious differences.  It is a loose powder that applies with a brush.  That means there is less coverage than with the body frosting; it does not work like a bronzer the way the honey glow does.  It also has more of a glittery look.  I still don't think it screams teen glitter queen, but it is more obvious than the body frosting.  Body frosting transforms my skin...it covers and glows.  This just has a radiant glitter.  Different look but both bump up your skin's look.




Alright...on to new product reviews.  Tonight:  the maxi dress and a girl's best friend - lip gloss!

I LOVE a good maxi dress.  They are easy and comfortable...a great way to get a dressy casual look that takes no work to put together.  They can also be very flattering.  Here are 2 examples of a maxi dress...1 is a good example and 1 I would encourage every one to stay away from.  Let's see if you can figure it out as I give you some maxi hints.  The key to a maxi dress is the drape of the dress.  If it doesn't have a good flow, it will look boxy and make you look like a column.  The thing that makes a maxi flattering is the empire waist.  It should drape and flow from that point instead of going straight down.  That definitely has to do with the fabrication of the dress.  If the dress is made of jersey or, like, t-shirt material, it will have drape.  If the dress is made out of "blouse material," it will have structure which is good in a blouse and so not good in a maxi.  Also, a maxi dress is probably not for you if you are trying to look tall.  I don't happen to care.  I am so short that I am not fooling anyone.  I strongly advise wearing flats...flip flops, really, with a maxi dress; first, by definition a maxi dress should cover your feet and, second, a maxi dress is not meant to be a gown.  Did you figure out that the second one is a no-no?  It puffs out from the empire waist and is made from a linen-cotton blend which equals no flow.  I own the first one in several colors (Old Navy).  Shop wisely, but a maxi dress is tons of fun.

Bare Escentuals 100% Natural Lip Gloss

Alright, I know I am not going to change many minds on this one.  Every girl has her favorite lip product.  This is mine.  Honestly, I am not a lip person.  I spend my time on my eyes and keep all my lipsticks and glosses in my purse and mostly forget to put them on.  BUT this gloss is amazing.  It is not sticky or tacky which is my biggest gloss pet peeve.  The color pigmentation is great.  The colors are true to the color you see (which is not always the case).  The gloss transforms my lips.  It makes them pillowy soft.  They feel healthy and kissable.  It also smells like glazed donuts...yummy!  Speaking of yummy, it is 100% natural so no harm in eating it!  There are tons of colors to choose from.  Some of my favorites are chiffon, jelly roll (super bold color), sugared strawberries, and sugar plum.  Having multiple favorite colors brings up a good point.  Don't get in a rut with your lips.  Especially, if you are in a lipstick rut.   Everyone should be wearing a good gloss...if not instead of lipstick, definitely in addition to your lipstick.  Lipstick can be very heavy and drying.  Lighten it up.  Also, your lip color should balance out your face, if you do a dark eye, wear a light lip color.  If you go light on the eye, punch up the lip color...which doesn't necessarily mean dark, dark just  more noticeable...it could be a coral or pink - just bright.  Pulling off a dark lipstick is tough stuff.  It tends to wash you out.  Mix it up!  Make-up is so much fun to play with and lip gloss is an easy, cheap way to play!!!

Our Story

SO, I have been wanting to get the story of Troy and I "down on paper" for awhile but a few things recently have pushed that to the forefront.  First, during a conversation with Tara and Natalie on Thursday night, Tara said several things that reminded me of the feelings I was having when I was around her age.  She also said several things about a boy she knows that reminded me of Troy.  When I pointed out a few things about our situation, she said it didn't sound very romantic. Second, I've kinda watched several hours of Bridezilla today.  Troy caught a snippet of the show and correctly pointed out that our wedding had little-to-no drama.  Third, Tara's blog (fabulous and insightful) discusses courting today...which is exactly what we did.

I met Troy in Sunday school in Germany when we were 16.  I don't really remember it at all, but we became good friends.  We were both consistently in other relationships but still had a really good, flirty friendship.  He was my best platonic guy friend.  I know now that he always kinda liked me...I maybe knew that a little in high school.  After we graduated, he went to college in Tennessee, and I ended up in Georgia then moved to USF here in Tampa.  With the exception of my high school sweetheart, Troy is the only person that I kept up with from high school.  We wrote each other letters fairly consistently during our freshman and early sophomore years in college.  I custom made the envelopes out of pages from magazines.  He hung them on his wall...I've heard they were a dorm hit! But we were still friends. 

Then I broke up with the hs sweetie.  I called Troy and cried over it...he came to visit to me. (September)  Things kind of changed...especially for Troy.  We were still just friends (mostly because I was still tangled up with my ex - God helped me take care of that). 

In February, I turned twenty and God called me to be a minister's wife (a story for another time).  I began to really examine my life...where I was at and where I thought I would be.  Honestly, I thought I would be thinking wedding with Craig, but I had not spoken to my ex in months.  I felt that I was entering the decade that was supposed to be about creating a family, and I was moving away from that - not towards it.  It was a mini-crisis.  I poured out my heart to my friend, Troy, in an email.  I was wondering about the one.  His reply was "maybe the one already knows and is waiting for you to figure it out."  Around that time, I got a birthday card from Troy.  It wasn't really a friend card.  The front had a dozen roses and, on the inside, he wrote that he loved me.  I can't remember if he had said that to me before that point.  I loved him as a friend and I think that he had said it...but this felt different. 

I started thinking about Troy differently.  I firmly believe God was opening my eyes to His plan.  I finally decided to visit him during Spring Break.  My best friend, Tiffany, made me promise to tell him what I was feeling while I was there.  We had a great time...as friends...kind of.  We hung out, played football, talked tons...I never said anything.  Fearing the wrath :) of Tiffany, I called Troy the night before heading back to school...and I said nothing.  But he told me to call him when I got back to school.  So I did...and I beat around the bush but I asked him several questions about marriage...in the flirty tone our relationship has always had.  Finally, I asked "Do you think you know who God wants you to marry?"  He said "I think so."  Of course, I asked who.  He said that he wasn't sure it was God's time yet and that he would have to pray about telling me.  He said he would call me the next night.  That next day was a Monday...St. Patrick's Day in fact.  I had class and butterflies all day.  It was the most beautiful anticipation.  That night he called and said  "It's you."  So began our courtship...which I define as intentional dating.  We knew marriage was our future.  I don't know about romantic by worldly standards, but I don't think you can beat God writing your love story.  It gives us a firm foundation now...which I wouldn't trade for anything.

Product Reviews!!!

I have decided that I would like to share some products with you because there are so many things that I love that I don't think many people know about!  I have added a new page called a few of my favorite things and my absolute favorite products will end up there.  (check it out - a few things were instant favs!)

I'll start with 2 new products that I can't believe I ever lived without!

Baked Body Frosting by Laura Gellar

OK, Girls, this stuff is amazing.  There are three or four color options to choose from: Sugar Glow, Honey Glow, Angel Glow and, maybe, Tahitian Glow.  I have Honey Glow so that is the one I want to tell you about (obviously!).  This is a baked liquid that applies like a powder but goes on like a liquid.  The Honey Glow is a rich tan color that I apply to my decollete and sometimes my face, but you can put where ever you'd like.  It goes on easy and smooth and looks AMAZING.  Right now, because it is summer, the color pretty closely matches my tan so when I apply, it completely erases my tan lines and makes my skin look smooth and healthy.  Before I was this dark, it performed like a bronzer.  Here's the kicker:  it really does make your skin glow.  It is kind of like a sophisticated, grown-up version of body glitter....but so don't think glitter.  It really is a radiance or glow.  If you get close enough, you can see a bit of sparkle but from the distance most people stand, it just looks beautiful.  It is kind of one of those products that boosts your appearance in a way that people notice you look better but can't put their finger on why.  Troy says something almost every time I wear it.  It's my little secret.  I LOVE IT!

Bare Escentuals Prime Time Brightening Eyelid Primer

I have oily eyelids...which I never knew and never mattered until I wanted my eyeshadow to stay all day.  I also have dark eyelids.  This products fixes both of those issues.  It brightens my eyelids and makes the color stick all day.  Eyeshadow colors go on more true to color and stay on all day.  The colors look prettier all day long.  It saves me time and product because I am not having to reapply mid-day.   I will caution you to let it dry before adding a shadow otherwise a glob of powder will stick in one place.  I also put a little under my eyes which keeps the concealer that you all are glad I wear on and in place all day.  One last trick:  because it is illuminating, I dab a little right in the corner of my eye (against my nose) and it makes my eyes look bigger and brighter.  Who doesn't want that!