faithful love

Right now, our Bible study is reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love.  I must say that I love it and am learning tons.  I find myself recognizing the way I feel about God in his challenging reminder that this life should be marked by love.  Last night's discussion on chapters 5 and 6 is still resonating with me. 
In chapter 5, we were confronted with the reality that the lukewarm Christian is non-existent.  You cannot be both.  Giving God the leftovers in our lives is not only not enough but evil.  He is not content being a tack on to our lives.  Chan raises the question...do you love Jesus more than anything else in life?  It really is a confrontational question when you consider your husband or your children or your parents or...isn't it?  I think we often talk a big game and say we love Jesus more...but do you really?  Does the way you spend your time, your money, your efforts, your thoughts, your actions, your words reflect a heart deeply in love with Jesus?
In chapter 6, Chan makes the point that if our pursuit is loving Jesus, we won't sin. The pursuit of Jesus and the pursuit of sin are mutually exclusive.  You cannot do both at the same time.  Every choice to sin comes down to what do you love more: Jesus or that sin?  If we went through our day thinking like that...recognizing that choice, we would definitely either sin less, feel guilty all the time, or, at the very least, not be so surprised when we are standing before the throne and hear "I never knew you." 
This way of seeing relationship with Jesus is how I try to explain my view of Christianity to my rule-following husband.  Troy would say that the Word of God is a list of dos and don'ts.  I think the Word of God is a description of the type of heart God desires those who have chosen to be His to have.  I have chosen to be His...I want to act like it.  Rules indicate obedience because you recognize the authority of the one who set the rule.  I want my relationship with Jesus to be about obedience flowing from a heart that loves Him more than I love anything else.
Think about it...in a marriage relationship.  Wives, we want our husbands to remain faithful, right?  But isn't it of more value if our men stay faithful not because they should but because they are so caught up in us that nothing can distract them from their love for us. It is not about keeping the rule. It is about his love for me.
It is the same with God. He desires us to be faithful because of our love for Him...not because we should.  We get so caught up in not jeopardizing our salvation that we miss the point of relationship. If I divorce her, can I still go to heaven? Does God still love me if I live with my boyfriend? Am I ok if I lie all the time? Cursing won't keep me from heaven...will it? If we viewed our lives as an opportunity to show Jesus how much we love Him instead of testing the boundaries of His acceptance, maybe we would experience the abundant life He promises.
So, this week I am challenging myself to examine what I love and surrender it all to the authority of Jesus.  I am challenging myself to stop and ask the question: do I love Jesus more than whatever willful sin I want to commit?  I am challenged to make my life match my words.  I love Jesus more than anything in this life. He deserves more than the leftovers of my heart.