The Greatest of These...

SO, I have been thinking about something since Sunday school (we have an excellent, thought-provoking teacher!). We are beginning a study in 2 Peter and spent some time looking at verses 5-7 of chapter 1.

2 Peter 1:5-7 "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love."

We talked about the qualities on the list and the order in which they are presented.  Does the order matter?  I think the majority of the class agreed that the order was intentional and increasing in value.  We talked about what a relief it is that we don't have to have it all together the moment that we become a new creation...that there are aspects that we can work on individually and grow into who God wants us to be.  We also noted that there is an inward focus that moves outward and the basis for all of it is faith.  It wasn't until after class that I realized what was at the top of the list...the greatest of these is love.  Sounds familiar, huh?

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I have wondered about this verse before.  I pull a lot for faith to be the greatest.  Faith is, in fact, necessary...essential for life in Christ.  Faith brings us into relationship with Him.  Faith is...well...the foundation.
The other verse that comes to mind when thinking about love is this one:

1 John 4:16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

Love is the greatest because the source of all love is God.  He is love...by definition.  The difference between faith and hope and love is two originate from us and one is Him.  With the foundation of faith placed in Jesus Christ, I can begin to strip away my sinful man and pursue a holy God.  The pinnacle of a Godly pursuit is sincere love.  Truly loving people the way God intended is hard.  Very hard.  It takes goodness, self control, perseverance, kindness...it takes God.  The Greatest of not just these...

His

God has been teaching me so much lately.  He is just really pouring into me things He knows I need to hear.  Hard truths, tough lessons but ones that will grow me into who He wants me to be.  More than anything in my life, I want to be His.  So as He is teaching me, I read this devotion by Oswald Chambers.  The focal verse is the one where Jesus tells the rich, young ruler he must sell all he has to follow Jesus.  A hard truth for a very rich, young man.  I was struck by Chambers words on this passage because though the passage was very familiar, Chambers brought out something new.  Chambers points out that Jesus says a tremendous amount to us that we listen to, but do not actually hear.  Jesus' words to the young man were hard to hear and harder to follow.  Chambers goes on to say:

This man understood what Jesus said. He heard it clearly, realizing the full impact of its meaning, and it broke his heart. He did not go away as a defiant person, but as one who was sorrowful and discouraged. He had come to Jesus on fire with zeal and determination, but the words of Jesus simply froze him. Instead of producing enthusiastic devotion to Jesus, they produced heartbreaking discouragement. And Jesus did not go after him, but let him go. Our Lord knows perfectly well that once His word is truly heard, it will bear fruit sooner or later. What is so terrible is that some of us prevent His words from bearing fruit in our present life. I wonder what we will say when we finally make up our minds to be devoted to Him on that particular point?

How often do I listen to the words of Jesus but not hear Him?  Monday night, I sat in Bible study listening to Beth and then speaking with some wonderful ladies and one thing right after another God was speaking truth into my life.  He was convicting me and encouraging me.  The next morning, I read this.  I am taking it as a challenge.  Our Lord knows that His Word will bear fruit...I know it, too.  The challenge is to not just listen to what He is saying but to hear Him and determine to be His.  My mind is made up.

Dark Night of the Soul...or just lazy...?

Recently, I heard Beth talk about experiencing a "dark night of the soul," a time when finding and feeling God is just hard.  God and I were talking about it on the way to work one day.  I have been going through some stuff...not outward struggle or circumstantial difficulties but times of just struggling with God...trying to figure out what He wants from me, trying to be obedient and faithful in who He wants me to be, wondering why things are happening the way that they are or not happening as it may be...sadness, joylessness, discontent.  After hearing Beth speak, I wondered is that what this is?
Wikipedia defines dark night of the soul as a phase in a person's spiritual life, marked by a sense of loneliness and desolation. eh...not bad considering the source.  Beth described it as being able to know God is there in what you see around you but not feeling His presence.  I think that the dark night is a place God takes you in your walk with Him purposefully to teach something...a very hard lesson.  He is always there but somehow less evident. 
So, like I said, God and I were discussing it in the car one morning(...a clue, no?).  Very clearly and very loudly, He called me lazy.  I am not finding Him because I am not really seeking Him.  We talk all the time...constantly, but I am not truly seeking Him.  I can blame it on tons of things, but I have gotten out of the habit of seeking Him in His Word.  It is my fault...my sin.  Sin is never the cause of a dark night of the soul...sin causes actual separation.  I heard Him.

Can You Fill Me?

We are getting ready to start a new mini Beth Moore series.  I watched the first two sessions tonight, and I am already loving the incredible things that God is beginning to teach me in this series.  I can't wait for the discussion time during our first session when we talk about measuring up...and the way women try to measure up to or for someone.  I found this blog call Can You Fill Me? by Cathy Davis while doing some research for Monday night. 

We've gone on a short road trip. I'm not happy with....my hair, my outfit, my bra (hello honesty), my shoes, what I have packed to wear and I left my tennis shoes in my car. We're going to be schlepping all over the place and I have no tennis shoes to wear. What was I thinking? Throughout the short weekend, I keep talking to my myself...Here's the gist of what I'm saying:

You're inadequate. Whatever you're wearing and brought to wear isn't "cute". How will you do your hair without styling products? Why didn't you bring those? Did he just look at another woman? Are you sure you're losing weight? You look heavy in those mirrors. Should you be eating that? Why can't he just tell me what I need to hear?

On and on I go. I've now worked myself into such a tithy and I want someone to make it better. So, naturally I go to James. (This is going to work out well.)

Do you still find me attractive? Do you think I'm pretty? Can you ever answer any of these questions adequately enough to take away all of my insecurities and doubt? I need you to fill me up.

The next day at Sunday school I'm sharing all of this with my class and I talk about how he just couldn't seem to tell me what I needed to hear and would it be too much for him to affirm me?

We've been working through Beth Moore's Measureless Love. Beth (she's my BFF so I can call her Beth) talks about who we're measuring up to, who we're measuring God up to and who we're measuring up for. That person we're measuring up for (Hi James) will never be able to fill us up and keep us full like Jesus will. If I'm not Jesus full, then I'll be desperately trying to get everyone else to fill me up. (ouch) If God is showing you something about yourself (sometimes it's over and over and over), then He's wanting you to kiss it goodbye! Goodbye insecurities and fear and self doubt and condemnation!

When we had a few minutes alone, I apologized to James for putting him in a position he was never going to be able to fill. (Of course, he had no idea how upset I had been!) Only God can fill me up. Only He can be the One who can give me total and unconditional love. I never have to wonder how He feels about me.

Will today be the day that I finally allow God to fill my cup with all the fullness of God? Will today be the day that I grasp that if God doesn't condemn me, then who am I to condemn myself?

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:1

and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Eph. 3:19

Praise You Father for not condemning me. Thank you for allowing me to come to You when I start doubting myself. You will fill me up Your fullness and all I have to do is ask. I empty myself of my sinful nature and ways, pride, idolatry, condemnation, of the need to please everyone for my own sake, for looking for constant affirmation from others who can't possibly give me what I need way down in the marrow of my soul. I thank you for allowing me to say this prayer to you throughout the day or whenever I feel condemnation rising up. Fill my cup, Lord. I want to be full of You and not me. ~ Amen

I am so excited to get this going with my girls!!

10 Things I Love About My Marriage

So, I thought on the eve of my twelfth wedding anniversary, I would share what I love about my marriage.  (totally stole the idea from Beth!)

10. Our interests are rarely shared, but our values always are.
9. Commitment is a powerful, comforting thing.  There is just something about knowing the other person will stick around to work this thing out.
8.  I can always be proud of the work he does.  He is very good at his job.  He does each aspect with integrity and excellence.
7. I have learned so much about my relationship with God through the relationship of marriage, and he cares as much about my spiritual growth as I do.
6. No one knows me better than he does.
5. My kids love my man, and no one else loves them like I do but him.
4. No one makes me laugh harder than my husband...no one.
3. None of your business.
2. My marriage is a miracle.  God still works them.  I know for a fact.
1. My favorite thing about my marriage is knowing God picked Troy Marc Borst for me and He does all things well.

Happy Anniversary T!

Heart Family

So, Michelle and Josh just came for a visit with their baby boy, and it was wonderful.  We have such a rich history woven by God with those kids.  Here's the story...

Troy's first full time ministry was at the First Church of Christ of Lock Haven, Pennsylvania.  We moved there when Abigail was not yet 2 and Nathanael was 5 months old.  Not long after we moved there, Troy had the privilege of baptizing Michelle, her sister and her dad.  It was a wonderful day for her family.
Troy was the only minister on staff so he did it all.  Preaching, counseling, teaching, and youth ministry.  We invested a lot of our time, energy and heart into the teens....mostly because they were the most receptive to teaching about living holy lives.  One of the first things we really got to do with them was go to PCTC (PA Christian Teen Convention).  At that time, there was an obvious divide in the group caused; there were 4 older kids and a bunch of younger ones.  A lot of the teaching at the convention was about purity in dating...not dating non-Christians and purity of actions within dating relationships.  During our group time, the discussion naturally turned toward that subject.  All four of our older kids (Tyler, Blake, Laura and Michelle) were in a dating relationship.  Blake's girlfriend professed Christ as her Savior...but she was the only one.  Our discussion was emotional, at times uncomfortable (we had only known these kids for 4 months) and honest.  We really challenged them with the truth of God's Word.  We told them that God's Word is clear on the subject so the choice is more about how willing each of them is to follow God.  After our talk, the kids holed up in the hotel bathroom.  They cried and talked...they were a tight group.  Laura broke up with her boyfriend that weekend.
It was that weekend that we first learned about Josh, and that he had been dating Michelle for 3 or 4 years at this point.  Josh did not attend our church or any other.  He was not a Christian.  Obviously, Michelle was upset by our discussion...so was her mom (a youth sponsor).  She wanted to be who God desired for her to be, but she loved Josh.  Her compromise...she brought Josh to church...every time she came...which was every time there was something going on; she brought him to Bible study at our house and youth group.  Michelle and Josh were also fixtures in our home.  My kids have always known Josh and Michelle.  They love them like family.  About 9 months after PCTC, Troy had the privilege of talking with Josh and baptizing him.  The following summer Josh was called to ministry at CIY.  To his family this was a radical, unfamiliar and unwise choice.  Josh applied to Johnson.  Troy took him to visit the school.  Josh and Michelle both ended up going to Johnson.  When Josh came home, Troy would let him preach and teach him with each experience.  By the time they left for Johnson, Michelle and Josh were engaged.  The next summer Troy married them with all three of my kids in the ceremony.  The summer after that Troy and Josh made official a relationship they have always had when Josh came to be the first New Beginnings intern.
There were a lot of things wrong with that first ministry...the relationship we formed with Josh and Michelle was something very right.

Ian:  "Mom, are Michelle and Josh part of our family?"
My no-but-yes answer confused him.
Ian: "Well, they feel like my family, and I love them."
Later he told his dad they were his "heart family."

Relationships created by God are our heart family!

When Harry Met Sally

Can men and women be friends...just friends?  I have been thinking about this a lot lately because it has come up. Last night, I sat in Bible study and listened to Beth give the characteristics of a close friendship; I had very few relationships that fit but one of them was with a guy. Troy quickly and emphatically always answers the question no.  He says a girl can be just friends with a guy but a guy cannot be just friends with a girl.  I can think of 3 times in 3 completely different contexts that he has said that this week.  Like I said, it has come up.  I have issues with that...big ones for a couple of reasons.
First, I have always found it easier to be friends with guys.  Guys use and need less words than women which suits my personality.  I hate small talk.  I am not good at it, and I find little use for it.  I am also naturally very shy.  I don't feel a need to fill quiet space with words.  I can sit with a person, say nothing and be satisfied.  I am very much like my dad in that way.  I will dig deep with you easily and quickly...which is why I love Bible study so much...but day to day little stuff...eh.  Guys are ok with that.  Women want to talk about everything, anything and nothing.  Also, I have very little tolerance for drama in my own life.  (I will listen to yours, but I don't need any of my own.)  I know not many women will say they want drama but, man, a group of women always end up with it.  Y'all know the games women play...they way they manipulate and all that.  I can't deal.  Men just don't tend toward drama the way women do.  There is also the side note that for at least four months out of the year the topic I will most want to talk about is college football.  So, I find it easier to really be myself with guys.
Second, I am very secure in my marriage.  I love my man.  There is no wavering in that.  I am not swayed by anyone else.  I can appreciate a good looking man and even can be flattered if a man is paying attention to me, but it would never cross my mind to cheat on my husband.  We have fought too hard for our marriage to think of it that cheaply.  I know affairs can creep up out of nowhere and happen on a slippery slope, but nothing about who I am wants that emotionally or physically.  My heart is taken.  I don't have it to give away to anyone.
But you know what, I may just be proving Troy's answer to be right.  I have never been a man.  He has.  He knows what a guy feels and thinks...how they act and react.  I explained how I feel from a woman's point of view.  It's possible...but that's what Troy said.  It's the guy that can't do it.
What do you all think?  Can men and women be just friends?  How about 2 happily married people?  Can they be friends with someone else?