FAB: New Favorite Blogs

I hope you all are reading the fabulous blogs by our NBCC family like Seconds and Esther's Blessing.  I also want to share with you all some blogs that have recently become my favorites!! I think you will find one to love!

I love The Dating Divas! The dating divas are married women who are committed to keeping the romance in their marriages by dating their husbands. Eleven women share a different date idea each week and fun stuff in between. It's fun and encourages me to think about ways to focus on my marriage.

The Girl Who Ate Everything has some great recipes! I found her on Pinterest (obsessed with that, yet? Let me know if you need an invite).

Plain Chicken is another recipe site that I found on Pinterest.  The recipes are easy to follow and have been delicious!!

I get my fashion fix at Polyvore. It is full of outfit ideas.  Another Pinterest find, most of the fashion ideas that are repinned come from Polyvore!

For the guys...check out "husbands", a user's guide. I know there is a grammatical error in the title, and it should be a blog for wives to understand husbands.  Honestly, that almost disqualified the blog from my favorites list. But the content is too good not to share. This blog has Biblical encouragment for husbands. I was really impressed with the writer's honesty and the topics he tackles. Definitely worth the time, guys!

Check them out and let me know what you think!!!

FAB: Christmas Fashion

So, December has rolled around and, for some reason, many people lose their fashion minds around this time of year.  Bad fashion choices are made in the name of holiday spirit, and I find myself saying oh...bless her heart more than normal.  There are contests for the ugliest Christmas sweater all over the place, but sadly, you can participate in one by purchasing a sweater next to well meaning shoppers who are excited about the good deal they are getting and plan to proudly wear the sweater to a party that night.  So far this season, I have seen ill fitting sweaters, t-shirts with animals, and what can only be described as festive pajamas. Oy Vay.

SO, how can we survive this season and still look as fabulous as we are?!?!?!? Here are some tips:

• Don't feel stuck choosing between green and red. I think there are several colors that say holiday. Black, cream, or purple. I would stick to vibrant jewel tones but even a hot pink is fun and festive. In fact, assuming most people will be wearing red or green, you can make an amazing statement with a different color. Imagine how beautifully you will stand out in royal blue! Remember a color that suits you will look better than any holiday color...which leads to tip number 2.
• If you do go with red or green, make sure you choose a shade that looks good with your skin tone and coloring. There is a shade in the red or green family that looks good on you. Red can have blue undertones or orange undertones. Green can have blue or yellow undertones. Make sure your red or green is highlighting your face.
• Use the fabric to dress up your outfit. Go for a silk, satin, or chiffon instead of a jersey knit.
• Bling your outfit out!! The holidays are a perfect excuse to pile on the bling (tastefully). I know some fabulous jewelry ladies who can help you out with that...
• Speaking of bling: try metallics! Don't go overboard but metallics can really dress up an outfit!

Here are a few really cute holiday options from party attire to a casual holiday get together:

faithful love

Right now, our Bible study is reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love.  I must say that I love it and am learning tons.  I find myself recognizing the way I feel about God in his challenging reminder that this life should be marked by love.  Last night's discussion on chapters 5 and 6 is still resonating with me. 
In chapter 5, we were confronted with the reality that the lukewarm Christian is non-existent.  You cannot be both.  Giving God the leftovers in our lives is not only not enough but evil.  He is not content being a tack on to our lives.  Chan raises the question...do you love Jesus more than anything else in life?  It really is a confrontational question when you consider your husband or your children or your parents or...isn't it?  I think we often talk a big game and say we love Jesus more...but do you really?  Does the way you spend your time, your money, your efforts, your thoughts, your actions, your words reflect a heart deeply in love with Jesus?
In chapter 6, Chan makes the point that if our pursuit is loving Jesus, we won't sin. The pursuit of Jesus and the pursuit of sin are mutually exclusive.  You cannot do both at the same time.  Every choice to sin comes down to what do you love more: Jesus or that sin?  If we went through our day thinking like that...recognizing that choice, we would definitely either sin less, feel guilty all the time, or, at the very least, not be so surprised when we are standing before the throne and hear "I never knew you." 
This way of seeing relationship with Jesus is how I try to explain my view of Christianity to my rule-following husband.  Troy would say that the Word of God is a list of dos and don'ts.  I think the Word of God is a description of the type of heart God desires those who have chosen to be His to have.  I have chosen to be His...I want to act like it.  Rules indicate obedience because you recognize the authority of the one who set the rule.  I want my relationship with Jesus to be about obedience flowing from a heart that loves Him more than I love anything else.
Think about it...in a marriage relationship.  Wives, we want our husbands to remain faithful, right?  But isn't it of more value if our men stay faithful not because they should but because they are so caught up in us that nothing can distract them from their love for us. It is not about keeping the rule. It is about his love for me.
It is the same with God. He desires us to be faithful because of our love for Him...not because we should.  We get so caught up in not jeopardizing our salvation that we miss the point of relationship. If I divorce her, can I still go to heaven? Does God still love me if I live with my boyfriend? Am I ok if I lie all the time? Cursing won't keep me from heaven...will it? If we viewed our lives as an opportunity to show Jesus how much we love Him instead of testing the boundaries of His acceptance, maybe we would experience the abundant life He promises.
So, this week I am challenging myself to examine what I love and surrender it all to the authority of Jesus.  I am challenging myself to stop and ask the question: do I love Jesus more than whatever willful sin I want to commit?  I am challenged to make my life match my words.  I love Jesus more than anything in this life. He deserves more than the leftovers of my heart.

Great Devotion by Lysa TerKeurst

October 27, 2011

You Don’t Like Me

Lysa TerKeurst

“Do not be anxious about anything…” Philippians 4:6 (ESV)

“You are not liked.”

“Who are you to think you could do that?”

“Why did you say that? Everyone thinks you’re annoying.”

“Your kids just illustrated every inadequacy you have as a mom.”

“You are invisible.”

Have you ever been taunted by these thoughts? I have. Why do we let such destructive words fall hard on our souls? Toxic thoughts are so dangerous because they leave no room for truth to flourish. And in the absence of truth, lies reign.

The other day I was discussing something with my husband and I said, “I know you think I’m being annoying and overly protective about this but…”

He stopped me and said, “How do you know that’s what I’m thinking? Please don’t hold me liable for saying things that are really only thoughts in your mind.”

Wow. He’s so right. He hadn’t said those things. I was assuming he was thinking them and operating as if those toxic thoughts were reality.

I think we girls do this way too often. People aren’t thinking about us and assessing us nearly as much as we think they are.

As Christian women we should hold our thoughts to a higher standard. How dare these run away thoughts be allowed to simply parade about as if they are true and manipulate us into feeling insecure, inadequate, and misunderstood! Oh how much trouble we invite into our lives based on assumptions. We are instructed:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:6-9 NIV 1984)

This is probably a verse you’ve read before. But, have you thought of applying it to your every thought…especially the toxic ones?

We are to think on, ponder and park our minds on constructive thoughts—not destructive thoughts. Thoughts that build up not tear down. Thoughts that breathe life not drain the life from us. Thoughts that lead to goodness not anxiety.

So, here are three questions we’d do well to ask ourselves when thoughts are dragging us down.

1. Did someone actually say this or am I assuming they are thinking it?

If they actually said it, deal with it then. If I’m assuming it, that’s unfair to them and unnecessarily damaging to me. Instead of staying anxious, I need to seek truth by seeking God and asking Him for peace.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

2. Have I been actively engaging with truth lately?

The more we read God’s truths and let truth fill our mind, the less time we’ll spend contemplating untruths.

Thinking run-away, worrisome thoughts invites anxiety. Thinking thoughts of truth wraps my mind in peace and helps me rise above my circumstances.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

3. Are certain situations or friendships feeding my insecurities?

If so, maybe I need to take a break from these for a season. I need to seek friendships that are characterized by truth, honor, and love.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Good gracious I know this is tough stuff. I know these issues can be more complicated than three simple questions. But it’s a good place to start holding our thoughts accountable.

After all, how a woman thinks is often how she lives.

I think we need to read that one again, don’t you? How a woman thinks is often how she lives. May we think upon and live out truth—and only truth today.

Dear Lord, reveal to me untruths throughout my day that can so easily distract and discourage me. Help me see You and Your truth in all I do. You have taught that only Your truth will set me free. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

2 Poems by My Favorite Author

As For Me As for me and my house
We will serve the Lord.
As for me and my walk
Christ and I are in one accord.
As for me and my heart
Inside is only love.
As for me and my sight
It will only look above.
As for me and my brain
Christ will always be the thought.
As for me and my sin,
That, Christ has already bought.
As for me and my zeal,
Only for Christ it will be.
As for me and my chains,
Christ has set me free
 
Walking the Road

I’m walking along the lonely road
Not a care to see
Jesus comes up to me many times
Can I please set you free?

What should I say? What should I believe?
He says He died for me
Me, I say?
Your sins I died to relieve.

I’m walking along the lonely road
Many cares to see
Jesus comes up to me many times
Can I please set you free?

It’s my way, I know where I am going
It’s my life, my vocation, my route
I can row my own boat thank you
I know where the river’s flowing.
I’m walking along the lonely road
Many cares to see
Jesus comes up to me many times
Can I please set you free?

He comes to me again, a hard time in life…
He comforts me when I tell Him not to
Who is this Man to me?
I realize that He is not just a Man
Who died for me long ago
Lord Jesus be my Guide, and please set me free.

by Troy Borst

Our Words...yikes!

I read this in a blog recently:

Beth Moore had quoted Melissa (her daughter) as saying that most of the time what we mean by ‘real’ is something negative. That struck me like a ton of bricks because something very similar was already in my teaching notes for that night and I took it as divine affirmation I was potentially on the right track.
The point I suggested was that if we find ourselves ending sentences with “I’m just saying”, it may be that what we just said wasn’t our just being real, it was our being real mean. The one who prides herself on ‘telling it like it is” may just need to repent of hatefulness rather than glory in her plain-spokenness. If we are fully aware that we are abrasive and hurting feelings on a regular basis, it’s not the public-at-large’s responsibility to learn to deal with us and our ‘authenticity’. Does that mean our criticisms are unfounded? Not always. But there is a world of difference between speaking truth in love and spewing the truth in hate.

I saw Beth's original tweet with Melissa's comment about people who are being "real" and loved it, but Lisa's following comments just further emphasized the truth of Melissa's words.  Sometimes we think that people who say what everyone else is thinking are refreshing.  But I wonder if the reason everyone else is just thinking it and not saying it is because it is hurtful.
What we like about people who say those often painful truths is that the words were said but that we don't take the hit as having said it.  Often those that "tell it like it is" tout the quality as being brave enough to speak the truth.  I love that Lisa points out the the criticism is often founded.  Harsh words maybe truthful, but are they beneficial?
This past week in Bible study we were studying and then talked about being disciplined.  One area that we talked about having Godly discipline is our words.  Talk about a challenge...especially for women.  Learning to control the tongue is so difficult.  Scripture speaks to it in so many places but so clearly here in James.

James 3:2-12 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.  All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. 

Even if you can slow yourself and your emotions down enough to think through encounters you know will be difficult or give opportunity to glorify the flesh rather than God, the reactionary words...ones spoken before they are thought about, will just about kill you if you are consiously trying to change the way you speak.  I have tried to learn to ask myself if what I want to say is beneficial to the person or situation involved.  I am trying to learn to stop and think...pray and ask that question when my immediate emotional reaction feels ungodly. Those two disciplines can be so frustrating because I often end up unable to say what I think or feel...but I guess if my thoughts and feelings were not beneficial or Godly I should be ok with that, huh?  I don't want to say them.
Sometimes, there are hard things that should be said in love and trying to figure out when those times are is hard.  I have learned to pray that God would show me when He wants me to speak by having the other person ask my opinion.  So many times that never happens. They never ask. But, sometimes, we are the person God wants to use to speak His Truth into a situation, and they will ask...then, it is right.  I remember there was one case where someone I love was really wandering far from the Lord. I had such a broken heart over it for my Savior.  I prayed so many times God help me keep my mouth shut until Your time if that ever or never comes.  And then one day he asked me what I thought...I went bug-eyed.  I looked at Troy.  He laughed and said that's what you have been waiting for...go ahead.  The conversation was so blessed by God.
I don't want to be pleased when someone else is hurt by words...mine or someone else's.  The telling it like it is moment of satisfaction is not worth the slip in being disciplined with my words.  A brave woman is a woman of Godly discipline who speaks with love in His time.  I'm just sayin...

Surrendering Hurt Feelings???

So, last night my feelings were hurt.  I got hit right in the love language =(  I'd like to say that I was over it quickly...but that's obviously not the case since I am blogging it this morning.  And, unfortunately, it is going to get worse before it gets better. I think that I understand His purpose in this particular hurt, but understanding doesn't make the situation hurt less. What I would like to know is where do I take this hurt?  How can I react in a way that glorifies God when my feelings are hurt?  How do I cast my cares on Him?  How do I take on His easy yoke and light burden?  I understand that I need to surrender my hurt feelings to Him.  But how do I do that?  No, really...I'm asking.  I've prayed, consulted Scripture, talked it out...how do I surrender these feelings?

Wouldn't it be nice if we could go through life without ever getting our feelings hurt?  Sounds like heaven to me!