Monday, June 21, 2010

Tara's Question

Let me start by saying Tara is a wonderful young woman who is actively, thoughtfully pursuing Christ.  I have often been blessed by her earnest, pure pursuit for deeper understanding of our Savior.  I hope her passion and desire for truth never fade.  So her question on Friday was this...

If God created woman to be a helpmate for man, does that mean without a man, a woman cannot fulfill the purpose for which she was created?  Sub question:  Are women incomplete with a man? 

Interesting thought. 
My initial reaction as an American woman was - of course a woman can be all that God created her to be without a man.  That didn't last long.  As I dove into Scripture in my mind, I went to several different passages that speak to marriage.  The one that popped into my head first was Isaiah 54:5 "For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth."  This verse speaks to God's provision and, though, the idea of the Lord being our husband...our bridegroom is all over Scripture, it does not really answer the question.  The next passage was the one in 1 Corinthians where Paul speaks about how it is good not to marry.  But, as Tara pointed out, Scripture has wonderful stories of women pursuing or preparing themselves for men.  In fact, it is hard to find many women in Scripture who are not or have not been married.  My initial reactions are also obviously colored by the fact that not only am I married but my marriage is very much a ministry partnership.  I definitely feel called to be my husband's helpmate.  We fit together.
I was still a long way from an answer when the discussion ended.  I came home and studied Scripture more in depth...looking at the Hebrew for helpmate in Genesis, digging deeper into the Isaiah passage and examining what Paul said.  In the original language, Genesis 2:18 has a clear emphasis on the helper belonging to man.  Looking more at the creation story, it says that God made woman from man because it is not good for man to be alone and for this reason man will leave his father and mother and become one flesh.  Another passage that really helped me in answering the question was Matthew 19.  Jesus addresses the same thing as Paul.  Matthew 19:11-12 "Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.  For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."  Jesus clearly says there are some people who aren't meant to be married in order to fully commit themselves to the kingdom.  These two passages seem to contradict one another, huh?
So, through pondering, prayer, studying and seeking Him here's what I think...  We are meant to be in relationship.  God intends for men and women to marry.  We are created to work together for His glory.  Women were created with helping our husbands as our purpose.  We misunderstand when we assume the call to marriage is just for women.  It is clear that men are also called to marriage.  It is not good for man to be alone.  Because woman was created, he is to leave his family.  Men and women are purposed for marriage...unless, God calls them to singleness.  I think that singleness is a specific call of God because it is meant to benefit the kingdom of heaven as Jesus states.  So I guess, the answer is yes.  A woman needs a man...just like a man needs a woman.  BUT, the sub question is a dangerous one.  When we think that anything or anyone completes us other than Christ, that relationship is doomed to failure.  My husband is my partner...in ministry, in raising children, in life.  HE IS NOT MY GOD.  I lack nothing as a child of God.  I am made complete in Christ. 

Isaiah 61:10 "I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."

Psalm 57:2 "I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me."

1 comment:

Tara Duffy said...

This is great!
Thanks so much Kelly. It basically covers everything! <3 Tara!